Yes, with all this reality TV I've been watching, I've decided to get abdominal implants. I won it on Bridalplasty. Yes, it's a real show, but no, I'm not getting cosmetic plastic surgery. I am, however, getting surgery on Saturday.
And it goes like this...
There once was a girl who dreamed of killer abs. She rode and lifted and rode and lifted and watched what she ate every other day or so until her craving for ice cream kicked in on the third day. Anyway, then one dehydrated morning, she looked in the mirror and said, hey I'm getting ripped! Then a few days later she looked in the mirror and said, man I'm bloated. Must be all that ice cream. So she let it go for a few days and then showed her roommate who said, that looks weird. She looked in the mirror and it looked like this:
|Men on Film weigh in on the lump|
Even so, I expect to look like this after Saturday (minus the "package" and such) and I plan to pose like this before every race. Rawwwr!
Oh some days I miss that old life when I had a steady paycheck and benefits and all that stuff. Maybe I would be thinking about buying my own Castle of Greyskull. But only on those days when my doctor tells me I could really benefit from some mesh abs to hold my intestines in.
Anyway, I'll be sure to get some pre-op photos of me in the waiting room. I'll tell the staff hello and probably opt out of the anal suppositories this time. (Fooled me once, shame on you....)